How can I…

Lol… I have no idea y my heart still hurt…
I know she already let go of me… Why can’t I do the same?
Every little move she makes, gives me a very big reaction.
How can I learn to be less caring??
How can I learn not to bother with her things?
How can I learn to stop worrying abt her?
How can I learn not to be hurt so much by her action?

Disappointed

Haven’t been writing for sometime already.. I thought things are changing for the better…

We went out for dinner for a couple of times.. Even supported her what she wanted to do for a really long time…
But my heart is shattered when she told me she will be staying over at a guy place when she is in Melbourne.. Knowingly that guy is interested in her…

I’m once again drop into the bottomless pit….

Friday night

After a week of hard work… Is time to take a break…

I was so happy that she ask me if I’m free for dinner and all… Unexpectedly, ended up watching movie with a group of frens…is not wat a plan, but it was fun watching in a group..

Actually after the movie, I wanted to propose to her… But after hearing what she said abt how the movie is boring, I ended up keep quiet…

I though I already let everything go… But from yesterday chatting with her abt how she went out on a date, I was kinda jealous of that guy… When I heard that guy asked her out for a drink, my heart dropped… I realise I still have not completely pull myself away from her…

Sometime I really hope I got a mind reader machine, wanting to know what is on her mind… Hehehe

Pain….

Just settle down myself …

Don’t know if I can sleep well to9…
Even after drinking so much… I still can feel clearly the pain in my heart is so bad that it feel like my heart is stab continuously…

They say time can heal all pain but is not true… The pain in my heart is the same as the 1 I got on the day we broke up…

I bet she is still enjoying herself with the other guys.. Completely forget abt me..

How I wish I could just disappear from her life…
I simply can’t stop thinking how can she Can enjoy her date if she still have feeling for me… I only could come up with 1 reason… Which is,I’m no longer has any standing in her heart… I’m just a no 1 who keep pestering her and her private life…

The wedding diary…

Happy valentine’s .. At lest for everyone out there…

Managed to sent her flowers and bears today… Don’t know if she feels anything or she enjoy her date more? I really wish to know…

Today went and watch movie ‘the wedding diary’.. Is really a touching story, really worth watching..

As I’m watching it, my heart keep thinking about her…
The story tell us about how should appreciate our love and appreciate our marriage…. If we really have heart, anything could be fix… So really depends on the person’a heart.

I wonder if I should ask her to watch with me again…

Valentines day eva…

Over the radio there is so many ppl sending out valentine dedication…

Another first for me… Going to spend valentines day with a broken heart… Listening to all these songs make my heart really pain knowing the person I love doesn’t love me anymore…

And what hurt the most is she is going on a date with other guy on valentines… I know I shouldnt be up sad about it cause she no longer belong to me… Her heart belong to someone else now…

What am I to do with such a stupid heart??!!

Today woke up.. Didn’t feel like going to church but still managed to find the strength to go… But was really hard to get myself moving..

Got a msg from her today asking if the valentine plan is still on… Have me a slight hope that I thought she going to return to me… Guess I was wrong again…

I thought I told myself that I’m going to let go but tat is not the case… My mind keep telling me is over but my heart is stopping me again…

The pain in my heart is back again… Guess I can’t put my heart to any test yet.. The wound is still there… Still need time to recover…

Haiz.. My dear heart… When r u going to recover? Pls recover soon… Cause I have so many plans ahead of us..
Without you, I can’t do much, only with u fully recover, we can accomplish other things..

So dear heart, pls take care and recover soon.. I’ll try to shield you from any potential harm so you could recover…